Come take a walk in my shoes….I’m sorry, are they too high for you?….got it!!!

The old adage of wanting people to treat you the way you treat them, from what I am told, is lost in society these days. People are quick to tell you that they are not you so stop expecting the same treatment, respect, tone, loyalty. That’s you… cut out the expectations.

My question is why? If I come to you with respect, why not reciprocate. Will it really take you out of your character that much? Will it kill you?

These are questions that I have been asking quite often lately, especially throughout this pandemic where I mistakenly thought that people should be a little kinder, more empathetic, more open to seeing other people’s situations and trying their best not to make anyone’s life harder. Obviously, I am told that I live in a fantasy world, because in actuality, no one gives a F*&k!!!!!

That hit me like a ton of bricks, or a splash of ice cold water, because I am really trying my best to see life through other people’s eyes and not judge. But folks make it so hard. I work in an industry where my customer service skills have to be on point at all times. I have a career that is thankless, and it is expected for me to get the short end of the stick and be happy with it. I and many others in my industry have had to have a smile on our faces daily, work 10-14 hours a day and not complain out loud or you will be labeled the “Angry black woman”, or the “one with an attitude”, or one of my favorites, “The turnup queen”. But why? We are human, we want to be respected. Respect of our time, our profession, our skills and all of the expertise we are ready and willing to offer. I cannot for the life of me understand why we are expected to be slapped on not only the right cheek but the left as well and not say a word in our own defense. Because let’s face it, no one else will stand up for us but us.

I have also been constantly told that due to the “People” we serve, that I shouldn’t expect anything more than the disrespectful, entitled behavior that I receive from them. BUT WAIT!!!!!, I serve Black people. So what do you mean by that statement? Are you seriously telling me that people in my community can offer nothing more than being ignorant and disrespectful and I cannot hold them accountable? This is where we are going wrong as a society. This is where I will have to respectfully agree to disagree, because I expect better from my people. I deserve better from my people. I want better for my people. But how and where do I begin to make it the new normal, for us to respect one another? How do I change the narrative? How do I get the word out to the masses that this type of tearing down of one another is not alright? Why are we as a people our own worst enemy.

The part that hurts me the most is that Black women are the BIGGEST culprit to this personal attack on one another. I refuse to continue to believe that it’s due to how we were programmed by society and circumstance many generations ago. Please, just cut it out, and take responsibility for your actions. You are hateful…you see something in me that you you choose to tear me down. I want so much for our people as a whole to realize that we are a force to be reckoned with when we stand together. But that stance seems to always be temporary, teetering to the left and many times lopsided. It makes me sad, it makes me feel discouraged, and I have shed many tears and lost a lot of sleep lately over this personal “Black people pandemic “.

But this also made me appreciate the small things. The things that I love and cherish the most. Three things I love out loud….my children, my family and close friends, and wearing 4 inch heels. I expect to get exactly what I give in each one of those relationships. Expectations has also become a dirty word. “Don’t have expectations “, they say. “You will only be disappointed “, they say. Maybe that’s true, and yes, I have realized that not everyone is willing to walk not even a day in your shoes to understand where you are coming from. I now, sadly, have come to the conclusion that maybe my expectations and my heels are too high for others to slip into.

Master Cosmetologist, Health and Beauty consultant, author. Just doing all the things I have a passion about, unapologetically, boldly and with a little splash of love.


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