Knock out your lies please..and thanks!!
It’s funny that when you first meet someone, the thing that catches your attention is their look or a witty comment. As an educator, I call that the connection, the hook. That’s the law of attraction right? Whatever their delivery is, is the thing that catches your eye and makes you take a second glance. The first words out of their mouth makes you make a decision of whether or not you exchange numbers. Those first initial conversations may last hours and the excitement is overwhelming. Then the inevitable happens and real life distractions occur and things sometimes fall off rather quickly. There is almost always a reason behind the mask of changes. Sometimes it is legit and then there are other times when a game is played with your life without your consent of wanting to play. The lies people tell is almost unbelievably sickening. I just want to tell people to not bother lying to me. Just knock it off. Thank goodness that the facade put on by many is always found out because people can only hide and pretend for so long.
I recently met someone who portrayed himself as that shining light in my not so dark tunnel of life. He approached me as if I needed his presence somehow. I was minding my own business enjoying my evening at an event that I had so looked forward to. I don’t know why he felt it necessary to approach me and break up my night, but he did. He stopped me and gave me an off handed compliment and told me that I needed to have his number in my phone. I chuckled at his aggressiveness but obliged him anyway. Not even two hours later, he texted me with what I guess he felt was impressive information about himself. He asked me if we could talk. Mind you, this was a 2:30 in the morning text therefore I politely declined and told him that I would be glad to have a conversation at a more appropriate time in the morning.
I felt it to be no harm to text him at 11:00 am to say good morning and that he was welcomed to contact when he was free. That same afternoon around 1:00 pm he called with enthusiasm. He spoke eloquently and seemed to be sincerely looking for an equally yoked mate. He talked about the lack of similarities that he have found in mates that he have run into. He went as far as to talk about wanting someone his own age, someone with similar experiences, someone who he could have a real conversation with. We discussed not wanting to play games and needing someone real in our lives. I thought this was refreshing. We ended up staying on the phone the entire day and into the night until around 11:34 pm. He tried to reassure me by stating, there is no woman in his life or home or he wouldn’t have been able to stay on the phone that late. I felt like this conversation was too good to be true. He called again the next day while I was at the gym and once again I was impressed with the phone call. I told him that I would call him back once I dropped off my girlfriend at home. Once I called him a couple of hours later, he asked me what took so long. At first I thought he must be anxious to talk to me. Instead, I later found out, that he was a master manipulator. He invited me to Charlotte, North Carolina without even knowing me. He invited me to the Mississippi National Round Up, once again without even knowing me. He was aggressive in his stance of wanting to spend time with me. I had to pause. I had to turn off the attraction and say, hmmmmmm, he seems serial killerish. I told him that if I never went anywhere without making arrangements and once again stated that he didn’t even know me. He said that he would cashapp me the money for a plane ticket. and make all arrangements of my stay. I told him that I felt uncomfortable with that and he responded, ” no worries, you can stay at my house.” I then stated out loud that I felt very uncomfortable with that arrangement and he responded, “Why?, you are my woman, there is nothing wrong with you staying with me.” I was blown away. This was a relationship born in the twilight zone. Meet me one day and two days later make me your woman. WOW, WOW, WOW.
You can’t make this stuff up. I had to cut this conversation short. I had errands to run and a bootcamp to attend so I told him that I would call him later. When I called him when I got home, I got no reply, I texted and nothing. I then chucked it up to a very crazy and kind of scary encounter and kept on with my life. The strangest thing was that this man then text and called me like there was no unexplained occurrence in our short lived interaction. He told me of an incident that happened to a friend of his as to explain his absence in communication. The whole situation was surreal. I knew in my spirit that he was definitely not the one and I basically lost interest in hearing from him. But he continued anyway. The day after I last got a call from him, Facebook told his secrets for him. His other life reared its ugly head. His secret Fiancé tagged him in a picture of them getting engaged. I can’t say I was surprised but I was pissed that he tried to waste my time. Like why come at me with all those lies if you are committed to someone else? Did he not even consider how this woman would feel if she found out that he was actively pursuing other women? He is building a future on a lie. I pray for the woman he is bamboozling and hoping that she sees the light before it is too late. I can truly say this was a learning experience of being aware of the pushy, aggressive and overly intentional encounters. Be careful out there. Protect yourself in your Singledom. Beware of the signs. Be mindful of the liars. Knock them out of your way and keep it moving.
Bernadine BedneauAugust 17, 2019
ChernaySeptember 23, 2019
Wow! I just got around to reading this and I am sorry that it happened. But what you said was the t ruth at the end, be careful of the signs. They are always there.