Emotional eating “1967”

When people talk about how emotional eating is mind over matter, I look at them, roll my eyes and say that I don’t mind their opinion because it really doesn’t matter. You should not have a say about a subject you know nothing about. My friends, I can talk to you about this first hand because I have been suffering with this since childhood. Food makes you feel happy, it does not argue, it does not belittle, it comforts you in unimaginable ways.

I cannot begin to tell you why I cannot balance my relationship between emotions and food. Whenever my life is going smoothly; and I am talking about my professional life as well as my personal life; then my food intake is on point. I am a total pescatarian without any variations.  

By this I mean that I am not intaking any dairy, processed carbohydrates, starches, or sugar. Totally water based fruit and vegetables with occasional seafood will be my diet. Along with my strict eating lifestyle comes my motivation to work out. It is all in sink when I am feeling great.

Unfortunately, I am not always feeling great. I take things to heart. Some may say I take things a little too personal. I have a lot of triggers that I am currently working through. I will not overcome them over night. It took many years for them to manifest, so I presume it will take many more to overcome. Whatever the case may be, those emotions mess up all, and I do mean all of my healthy practices. My exercise regime has not really suffered because I will still wake up and go to the gym. But unfortunately, if you are not eating right then the exercise is a futile effort.

So, what am I doing about it? I’m taking it one day at a time. I am working on not allowing people and their actions to make me react in a negative way. I am working on walking away without any apologies and without explanations. I am learning that my small circle is ok. I am enjoying my own company more and more and not allowing people to label me as anti-social or an introvert. I am learning that turning my back on toxic people and their behavior is the best medicine. I am learning that you should never expect things from human beings because humans lied and betrayed Jesus, so what makes me so special.

It is a hard road. I work on it every day. It is like having a drug addiction for real. I try to get out of my funk and consciously decide what my meals will be that day. I try not to think of having two cups of coffee just because I want to taste the caramel creamer that I put in. I try not to give in to my addiction to jelly belly jelly beans. And yes, I only eat the jelly belly kind. I try not to think of how good a piece of bread toasted and smothered with real butter will taste. I try not to think of how curried goat rotie with ripe plantains or some oxtails and peas and rice would taste. I avoid contemplating on food commercials. I turn down invitations to go out to eat because I know when I am going through withdrawal, temptations are rough and not everyone is sensitive to the fact that I am on a wellness journey.

So the advice that I would give is to meditate. Dedicate that quiet time to have frequent talks with yourself. You are your biggest cheerleader so don’t wait for others to give you encouragement. They are not on your journey and may not be invested in your success. So depend on yourself having a good mental wellness so you can move forward in fulfilling your goals.

Believe me when I tell you, when you feel good, you will go out of your way to look good. In order for me personally to fit that bill, I need to look at myself and say, “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! You do not need to eat that, and you do not need to drink the other”. I am not saying not to enjoy your meals, all I am saying is that for me, my choices must be wise and the calories need to be worth it. If not my journey will be derailed and my emotional rollercoaster will begin again and the eating unwise food choices will ensue.