Let me take the time to introduce myself
I am constantly in thought. Things are always running around in my mind. That is probably why my face always looks so serious. Do you know how many times I have been asked what’s wrong? Well, my answer is, there’s nothing wrong. That is just my look. Do I have an attitude you say? Heck no!!!! I am a New Yorker, that’s how we look. Period. Now that I have gotten that out the way, let me take the time to introduce myself. I go by Elz A James. An alias, yes but it’s the name I feel most comfortable with. It was my mother’s name and I wear it proudly. I think it fits me. I love her and miss her so this is my way of honoring her. She taught me to follow my passion. I have a passion for a few things in my life. Love, fitness and writing. So in a nutshell the well-being of my mind, body and soul. I figured with a blog that I can touch people’s hearts, minds and souls. I am not trying to be a self-help guru. Nor am I trying to be the know all of it all. I am using my writing just as I use my workouts. As personal therapy. Maybe my experiences can be a little free therapy for all of you who read my post. Maybe not. Maybe it can just be some reading entertainment. Or maybe it can be something to look forward to a couple of times a month. Whatever you choose to use it for, I hope that me sharing my journey touches all my readers in a positive way. Enjoy.
Like I mentioned above, one of my passions is fitness. It has not always been the case. But body image is important to most women. Why? I still do not have the answer to that question. I know that we as women thrive on looking our best at all times for no one in particular. When I look good, that is when I feel my best. This has been the view point on how I gave assessed myself my entire life. Which brings me to my scariest part of my life. My weight and body image issues. I have always been what people now call THICK. It use to be called fat, heavy, big boned, obese. None of these titles made me feel good. They were all negative to me and were associated with negative images. It screamed insecurity factors. It just made me want to hide myself under over-sized clothes and try not to be seen. At the time, I was living in a country (United Arab Emirates) were being covered up was acceptable and encouraged. That worked out perfectly for me. My wardrobe consisted of maxi skirts, long sweaters and tailed blouses. It helped me shadow myself from the world. It helped me hide what I was so bothered by. My bottled bottom shape, or more widely known as the coca cola bottle or pear shape. What was quickly being accepted by the masses, I despised. I often wondered why I was shaped the way I was. Which led to another issue. My nemesis…..food. I have always had an unhealthy relationship with food. Food was my friend. It was my comforter when I was angry, sad, and most definitely made me happy. Food was something that I went to when I wanted to gather with others. I am a great cook so there was always that allure. But unfortunately, food did not love me the way I loved it. Food hated me and it showed. My comforter became my enemy and so I struggled with it on a daily basis. It made me start to hate my body. Which led to unhealthy dieting. I deprived myself of essential meals in order to be comfortable about my body. Not how I looked in clothes but how I looked when no one was looking.
There was a time when I was ashamed of my naked body. A time when I felt so low that there is no way I would have ever undressed in front of anyone. Not even my husband at the time. I yoyo dieted for years and nothing worked. I took diet pills and injections and it was still a temporary fix. When people say you will know that enough is enough and do something about your issue, it is definitely the truth. I woke up one morning and said, “No mas”.
I then started my present journey and forged a relationship with fitness. My fitness journey has become part of my lifestyle. I began by doing a vegetable cleanse. I did this cleanse for 10 days. I incorporated walking into my daily routine. I would wake up at 4am and walk 2 miles through the desert every morning. I lived around a lot of sand dunes while in Dubai so it was peaceful that early in the morning. After the 10 day cleanse I decided to make another major change in my life and give up all the things that made me bloated, tired, and sluggish. This consisted of red meat, dairy and white grains. Not too long into my lifestyle change, I realized there was a name to what I now was. I became pescatarian and loved it. I started to see a big change about a month in. I loved this change. I quickly slimmed down with nothing more than walking and eating differently. I also realized that I had to love my body no matter what. So I started to keep an electronic journal of my progress. It took me about a year to shed 46 pounds. That weight loss stayed steady until recently. Just like everything else, your healthy lifestyle can be damaged by personal triggers. Stress is the biggest culprit that a woman faces. Since moving back to the States, I have been faced with some very big challenges. I have been slammed with many hurts and disappointments. Which in turn has interfered in my healthy lifestyle. I faced a small bout of depression, thinking that maybe returning to the United States had been a huge mistake. I also faced the harsh reality that not everyone who pretends to be in your corner is truly routing for you. They are just sticking around to see you fall and they wait to make sure you cannot get up again. I am here to prove the naysayers wrong and let the world know that your best support system is YOU!!!!! I rely on the opinion of what makes me feel great and my two closest alliances, Daniel and Dalles. My children, now as adults, are my friends and advisors as well. Ok, I got a little off track, lol. So I say all of that to say, I don’t always eat what people consider right and there are times when I don’t want to go to the gym. But I know that it is necessary in order to stay healthy and focused. My journey started when I was ready and yours will too. Your inner self will tell you, because if you start when someone else tells you to it will never work.
When I think of my soul, I think of my well-being. It is important for me to have a peace of mind in my work life as well as my home life. With that said this is an ongoing struggle for me. I am one person who is open to talking about things. I do mean everything because that is how I cope. I have now become accustomed to opening up to the world in my writing. So I hope you all are ready for some real world experiences from a seasoned veteran of life, who likes to give a piece of herself just so she can assist others who may need it. Therefore, it is so great to meet all of you.
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